Healing From a Break-Up

Category 3

Mar 18

No matter what side of the split you are on, the end of a relationship can make you feel like your entire world has been turned upside down and can trigger all sorts of emotions. Here are a few things that have worked for both me and my clients:

Give yourself time to grieve the loss. Some people claim it takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over it, others say it takes a week for every month you were together. Ignore them. Every person is different, as is every story, and your healing time is your own.

Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Do. Not. Check. In. On. Your. Ex. The goal is to put them in your past, not stay up to date on their present. It will help you heal to not have any idea if they are dating someone new. And to go a step further, refrain from trying to stay friends for a while until you feel that your heart has healed.

Write a letter that you'll never send. This will give you the space to say anything and everything you want to your ex. Getting all your emotions on paper can be healing.

See if you can conjure some gratitude. Wanting to trash talk and stay angry is natural, of course. But by allowing yourself to take the time and reflect on the relationship as a whole (both the good and the bad), you can find aspects of the relationship you were grateful for. This can help alleviate feelings of bitterness, which is sometimes a roadblock to healing.

Lean on other people. Find time to see the friends you haven’t seen for awhile. Go home and spend the weekend with family. Identify the people who will decline to trash talk your ex, and rather will fully support you help build you up on days you don’t feel like leaving bed.

Finally, remember that you can reach out to a therapist in your area for individual therapy as well. Breakups can sometimes lead to negative self-talk, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and even shame. It’s ok to seek professional help to lend a hand in guiding you through this difficult chapter in your life.

Rachel Aredia, LCPC, NCC

Thank you for coming to get to know me! I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, practicing in Chicago, Illinois. I have a Bachelor’s in Psychology with a minor in Sociology and Philosophy from Southern Illinois University and obtained my Master’s in Clinical Counseling from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

I have 10+ years experience working in the mental health field, with experience holding a variety of different titles and helping hundreds of clients in a variety of therapeutic settings. I have a special interest in working with clients who experience anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, and related disorders. I have received specialized training in LGBTQ Affirmative Therapy as well as mindfulness-based treatment therapy, and motivational interviewing. In addition, I have obtained advanced training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and am a Certified Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP).

Focus & Approach

During my journey in the mental health field (both personally and professionally), I have learned that the biggest thing for my clients is fostering a judgement-free space where one can be authentic and feel genuinely heard.

I am in a great place of privilege to be able to help people navigate the most challenging and stressful times of their lives. I strongly believe the quality of the therapeutic relationship plays a significant role in an individual’s healing process, and therefore my goal is to develop and maintain a safe, open, and trusting dynamic with each client that I work with by humanizing the process. I believe everyone should have a therapist, myself included. I also understand that I will not meet everyone’s needs all of the time and when that happens, I am happy to make referrals to therapists that would better fit your needs as the client – therapist relationship is so important for your treatment.

My approach has been described as engaging, empathic, direct, warm and non-judgmental. I have been known to use humor in my sessions to promote comfort and humanize the process of therapy. I strive to create a space where you can be your authentic self and break down any barriers you may have to leave you feeling empowered and at ease. I encourage positive change in a supportive, compassionate manner while simultaneously offering at times, blunt feedback with empathy and humor.

I hold special interest in working with clients who may have experienced difficult therapeutic relationships in the past. Perhaps you or a loved one engaged in therapy with a therapist who did not fit your needs and left a “bad taste” of therapy. My hope is to engage these clients and assist them in finding a better fit for the therapeutic relationship as I believe therapy is so important.

Personal Note

When not in therapy, I have been known to enjoy Cubs games, enjoy spending time with my dog, and enjoying true crime documentaries.

I have also engaged in therapy as a client and understand the value of the relationship of the client and therapist. I also understand that sometimes, we just need someone to simply talk to.

My Statement on the BLM movement

I stand in support of the Black community in solidarity against racism and injustice. I am committed to learning how I can work together with my clients and community toward a future of equality. My practice is open to everyone as this is a judgment free zone. I look forward to the continued conversations and opportunities to not only discuss the Black Lives Matter movement and the current state of racial relations in America, but to do my part to raise awareness of systemic racism and to help dismantle that system, wherever possible.

https://www.inspirewithintherapy.com